Why I Believe in Rituals Over Routines
Routines and rituals have a lot in common.
They help us delineate space and time.
They connect us to our goals and the lifestyles we choose to live.
They create a sense of structure, rhythm, and predictability in our days. They can be grounding, calming, and reassuring. And they can be uplifting, energizing, and freeing.
But what makes them exponentially different, is the level of energy, consciousness, and intention you bring to each.
For that reason, I resisted routines for years.
Routines felt heavy and confining. Even the word itself felt militant and boring and I wanted to be creative and free. Spontaneous and adventurous.
So I left my days wide open to whatever the world presented, stayed up late partying, woke up early others, worked disconnected jobs that didn’t align with my values, haphazardly made progress in my business sometimes, other times not, and crashed around New York City or doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
Sounds great right?
Only problem is, it left me feeling anxious, directionless, and purposeless.
So I finally decided it was time to get my shit together, filled my Google calendar with enough color coded chunks to drown out any whitespace and vowed to go through the motions, daily, like a disciplined soldier; one step followed by the other in a march towards my dreams.
Only problem was, that left me feeling depressed, mindless, and entirely disengaged.
The solution?
Rituals.
Rituals will set you free.
There’s a Beethoven quote that I love where he says; “To make music one must have the spirit of a gypsy and the discipline of a soldier.”
What he meant, is finding the balance between the dance of chaos and order; spontaneity and commitment, rituals and routines.
Learning to walk that line changed everything for me and the answer was hidden in shifting my focus from building structured routines to designing fluid rituals.
Rituals vs Routines
A routine creates familiarity, repetition, continuity and order. Routines can be very powerful when learning a new skill or staying hyper-focused on a goal like launching a business, writing a book, or planning to make a trip around the world.
They concretely move us toward an outcome with a systematic approach. Yet, when you’re someone in this personal growth space continually doing the work to shift your identity, beliefs, and behaviors routines can become stale very quickly and constantly need updating.
Because you are constantly changing.
Rituals, on the other hand, elevate routines. Rituals bring a higher level of energy and consciousness to the methodical automation of routines.
Rituals are a celebration, imbued with creativity and meaning.
There isn't a culture anywhere in the world that doesn’t use rituals to celebrate life milestones, transitions, and connections; so why not bring that celebratory energy to your everyday life.
To give an example; a routine might be setting the table every night for you and your spouse. A ritual may be using your favorite handcrafted ceramic plates to add creativity and color to the table, lighting candles, and decorating the table with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. See the difference?
The table setting is necessary and automatic; a foundation of sorts, but the ritual is a celebration of life. It uplifts the routine from mindless movement to mindful intention.
Overall, Rituals bring meaning and vitality to routines.
Designing Rituals
In my own life, I have taken just about every piece of my routine and transformed it into ritual.
For example; when I shower in the morning instead of just soap, shampoo, shave, and running through the usual motions...I turn on uplifting music before I get in the shower (usually my Morning Light Playlist), focus on the sensations of the warm water on my skin, take my time massaging my head while I lather the shampoo, and often dance while I think of everything I’m grateful for in life. Shower transformed from mundane task to full mind-body experience, priming me for my day.
For my clients, in the first phase of my signature Self by Design Method program we always focus one of the earlier sessions on creating routines and rituals with a template that I’ve designed that includes my 3 daily pillars; movement, meditation, and mindset.
I start every day with these 3 pieces no matter what, even when I’m traveling, to prime my body and mind for the day ahead.
I set aside 20-30 minutes for each, totaling an hour to an hour and a half to move through it but you can adjust based on what works best for you. That could be 10-10-10 or even 5-5-5. The important piece is to practice consistently and with intention.
I also like to leave it up to you, as the client, to decide what pieces work best for you and know that you can always mix it up. The key is to keep it novel and interesting, keeping the vitality alive, within this framework.
Move • Meditate • Mindset
Movement could be:
Yoga
Stretching
Dancing
Morning walk in the sunshine
Meditation could be:
Guided Meditation on Insight Timer App
Prayer
Gratitude
Loving-Kindness (meta) meditation
Mindset could be:
Journaling
Affirmations
Revisiting my vision/vision board
Listening to an empowering audiobook/podcast
Overall, transforming routines to rituals will transform your life.
Your morning commute becomes a journey into your favorite podcast or audiobook, showering becomes a full mind-body sensory experience, and setting the table becomes a celebration of love and partnership.
Living each day intentionally, with rituals full of meaning and creativity, creates an intentional life.
And an intentional life, is a celebrated life.
A life by your own design.
Love always,
Nicole
In this video lesson you’ll learn:
How I elevated my (lack of) routines to rituals and changed my life
What the difference is between rituals and routines
The template I teach all of my clients for designing sustainable rituals
Designing rituals and routines that support the person you’re becoming, not the one you’ve been, is always one of the first steps in my signature Self by Design Method. Well designed rituals will set you free.
If you’ve been considering mindset coaching and are curious to know more, I’ve just opened up 15 min exploration calls on my calendar. Book a Free 15 Min Call with me and let’s chat. This call is completely no-strings attached and solely for the purpose of opening the conversation to see what’s possible for you!
